Seriously?
by Allethia
Summary: So, you and Phoebe are pretty serious? That means I have to be a gooseberry with Helga!


Hey! First time in the wonderful world of the Hey Arnold! Fanfic Nation

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Got this idea from… Somewhere probably…

Disclaimer: Don't own Hey Arnold! Used to watch it when I was wee though.

**Seriously?**

Arnold sighed. He had been dragged along to the ice-cream store by Gerald, who, to shy to ask Phoebe out without the comforting back-up of a buddy, had persuaded (forced, blackmailed) Arnold into coming along. So now they were sharing a milkshake across the booth table, giggling and making googly eyes. Arnold glanced at them, smiling softly, he had to admit that they were quite sweet. It had been years that he had been building up Gerald's courage for 7 years, it was good that he'd finally taken the leap.

A huge huff from across the table caught his attention. Sitting slumped against the vinyl covered bench of the booth, cheek against the window staring at the people walking by the window, was Phoebe's chosen back-up, Helga Pataki. She caught him staring at her and raised her eyebrow (singular,)

"What?" she snapped. He shrugged, her attitude had toned down over the years, and they could just about stand each other now, but she could still be abrupt. She was still looking at him, her stare intense. He felt rather uncomfortable, so he said the first thing that came into his head.

"Having fun? He winced internally, she would tear him apart for this. But no, she just gave him an incredulous look and resumed her people watching. Phoebe managed to come out of her and Gerald's love bubble for a few moments.

"I need to go to the Ladies room" she said, giggling. "Helga?" Helga sighed, she could tell a telling off coming a mile away. She stood and, looking like a woman on Death Row, dragged herself after Phoebe, in the direction of the toilets.

Gerald snapped himself out of watching Phoebe go. And turned to Arnold.

"She's just awesome man. I'm planning on spending a lot more time with her…" Arnold started. Did this mean what he thought it meant?

"You don't mean, like eating together at lunch and stuff?" Gerald nodded. "But, she'll be eating with her best friend, and if I eat with you, _my _best friend, then that means… I'll have to spend more time with Helga."

Helga glared at her best friend. "Okay, so you're going out with Gerald, and you're as happy as a pine tree

that found out it's got another year, before it's massacred and dressed up and had fairy lights wrapped around it but you can't be serious." Phoebe nodded.

"I am, Helga. I want you to invite Gerald and Arnold to this party you're planning."

"But… But… I don't wanna. So there. You know that things have been awkward since I confessed, Arnold looks too terrified to even talk to me" Phoebe looked at her over the rim of her glasses. It was THE LOOK, the one that made crazed dictators fall to their knees trembling. And Helga was no dictator, so what chance did she have?

"The incident you are referring to, Helga, happened well over seven years ago. You were ten. You are now sixteen. I'm pretty certain he's forgotten all about it."

"I haven't" Muttered Helga . "It was completely humiliating"

"Well you don't see him that way anymore, so suck it up and be friendly."

Helga sighed .Phoebe grinned seeing this as a victory, and hugged Helga.

"I'll ask them now", she bounced.

Helga slid back into her seat catching Arnold's eye as she did so. She smiled hesitantly at him. She may as well start being friendly, Phoebs and Gerald were in for the long haul and they still had a couple of years left in High School, as best friends of said couple.

Arnold blinked in shock, had Helga actually smiled at him? He smiled back at her shyly and then sat like that for a couple of minutes, grinning at her stupidly

"…nold…Arnold.?." He blinked, Helga was waving a hand in front of his face and Phoebe and Gerald were staring at him over their shared milkshake . He blinked, still halfway in the reverie where he and Helga were friends.

"What?" He asked. Helga gave him a funny sideways look.

"As Phoebe was saying, I'm having a party next week, Bob and Miriam are away on holiday, and… You know.. You're both invited if you want to… You don't have to or anything…"

"That sounds great Helga" Arnold grinned at her. Maybe his daydream was coming true!

That night, Arnold mentioned to his grandfather that he would be going to a party that Saturday.

"Ooh hoo! Only three days Shortman, you'd best get yourself some nice new clothes! Who's the lucky lady you're taking?"

"I'm not taking anyone Grandpa. Gerald's new girlfriends going, I got coerced." Slight fib, he'd said yes before Gerald had a chance, but the principle was the same right?

His grandfather grinned, "Well maybe you'll get lucky while you're there. What about the Pataki chick you're always talking about? Gretchen or something" He nudged Arnold in the ribs.

"Grandpa!" Arnold yelled, face blushing. Which was weird, because he didn't think of Helga that way, so he had absolutely no idea why he was blushing. Maybe he was protecting her modesty or something. "I'm going to bed," he mumbled, aware that his reaction had only widened his grandfathers grin.

The next day, at that wonderful institute adults liked to call school, Gerald and Phoebe sat next to each other at lunch, feeding each other, fries.

Watching with the kind of fascination normally reserved for mealtimes for lions on the Discovery channel, was Helga. Arnold sat himself down on the chair next to her.

"Well hey Arnoldo" she drawled. "This relationship sure progressed fast." She gestured to the lovebirds, "Next they'll be announcing their engagement at my party, I'll be in some disgusting frilly bridesmaid dress and you'll be giving a speech, then I'll be holding Phoebs' hand while she pushes out some baby while Gerald's pacing the waiting room cos he got flung out of the delivery room for shouting more than her and you'll be trying to calm him down. Then we'll all have cigars while Gerald cries and Phoebe sleeps."

"Planned that out much?"

"Since I sat down"

"It was good, funny in the right places."

"…Thanks."

"Yeah…"

"Yeah…"

And so they sat staring at the couple and trying not to think too hard about anything.

All too slowly, the bell signifying the end of lunch went

For lack of anything to say and not being able to stand the silence, Arnold asked, "What are you in?"

"Study hall. You?."

"Same. What are you focussing on studying?"

"History. You?"

"Same again. Wanna study together, Two heads are better than one and all that?"

Helga glanced at him, her expression unreadable. "Yeah alright."

"How was school Shortman? Anything interesting happen?" Arnold had barely walked in the door when the questions started

"Erm. Fine. Not really, why do you ask." Asked Arnold warily.

"Well, you know, I just saw you walking home with the Pataki chick, and…"

"Okay. Stop Grandpa. We just walked home together. We aren't going to elope or anything! We had study hall together and we talked and she's actually really funny and intelligent and we like the same films and stuff…"

His grandpa smiled indulgently. "And you say you haven't got a girlfriend."

"GRAMPA!"

The party was busy, Arnold weaved his way through crowds of sweaty teens dancing like their lives depended on it. He was even sure he saw some illegal alcohol roaming about. Gerald had separated from him to find Phoebe and he was completely confused. He needed some air. He spotted a fire escape and headed towards it, hoping to clear his head.

To his surprise, someone was already out there.

"Helga? It's your party, why are you out here?" Helga shrugged.

"The stars are pretty tonight." Arnold couldn't help but notice another pretty thing tonight.

"So are you." He said softly. Helga looked up at him sharply, her blonde hair flowing down her back like water and she stood up. He stared at her legs, long and lean, and suddenly noticed that she was standing staring up at him

_Up? That can't be right. Helga's taller than me. Maybe I grew overnight, or she always wears heels or something._

"Arnold. I've been wanting to tell you for the longest time. For so many years, I've loved you."

"I love you too baby," he murmured, and swept her up in his arms ready for the make-out session to end all make-out sessions.

"Arnold" she sighed breathily.

"Helga" he said…

"ARNOLD! Wake up! Why were you muttering Helga's name in your sleep?" He started jumping and noticed he was sitting at the lunch table. When had he fallen asleep? Oh. He'd put his head down on the desk, because those two lovie dovies were making googly eyes and Helga wasn't here to laugh at them with him…

Gerald and Phoebe were staring at him from across the table, their regular seats now, it seemed. Glancing to his left he noticed Helga also looking at him, if also eating a sandwich. He sat up and a fry fell off his head. He looked around and saw other parts of the long table they were sitting at were also staring at him…

He glanced at Helga again.

"Well." She said. "This is awkward…"

Arnold awoke to howls of laughter on the Saturday morning. He threw no his clothes wondering if his grandmother was watching comedy programs or something. What he found when he got downstairs was much much worse.

"So Gerald's shouting at him to wake up, and like, the whole cafeteria are staring at this guy asleep on his hamburger, and he wakes up and sits up really quickly like nothings happened, and a French fry falls off his forehead onto the table!" Lot's of laughter, and he now had a deep sense of the uh-oh's .

Sure enough, sitting in the living room surrounded by all the residents of the boarding house, Oscar, holding his stomach and rolling on the ground, was Helga.

"So then he looks at me with this confused expression and I say "Well this is awkward," and then he ran away, face like a tomato!" Even his grandfather was laughing. It was like he was reliving his humiliation of the previous day all over again.

"Helga." He said threateningly. "Hey football head! We were just talking about you!" She grinned at him, and he can't help but think, despite his whole brain attempting to stop him, that she looks pretty, with or without the unborn or the bunches.

"What are you doing here Helga?" "Well, the folks cancelled the trip, something to do with Olga winning something, so I came round here to tell you it was off. But you weren't awake yet, so I told my tale of woe to your grandpa and he said we could have it here! On the roof! Best clean your room Arnoldo! Or lock the door if you don't want any couples making out on your nice bed or anything…" Arnold groaned, head in hands. _Why Gramps?_

"Well, I'm off, just stayed to tell you the good news! I'll tell everyone the party starts at 7pm alright? That gives you plenty of time to get yourself together."

With that, she swept out of the house, leaving some still giggling residents in her wake.

"How did you sleep Arnold?" Asked Mr. Hyunh. "Dream of any certain blonde, monobrowed girls?"

Arnold sighed and went off to tidy his room.

7 O' clock came all too quickly. He had managed to tidy his room, changed into some nice clothes. When the doorbell rang, he rushed down to get it, smoothing his hair before opening the door.

There, standing before him like an angel with anger management problems, was Helga.

"Hhhhhelga! You look nice!" He screeched, voice breaking in a way it hadn't for years. "Uh-huh . You look alright too football head." He blushed a deep red The time spent picking out his clothes had obviously paid off.

Next were Phoebe and Gerald, wrapped in each others arms. Helga glanced at Arnold.

"Start writing your speech" she mouthed at him.

Soon, the party was packed with people dancing , talking and pretty much having a good time. Helga slapped him on the back.

"Looks like he change in venue worked pretty darn well," she grinned at him. He nodded, suddenly tongue tied. "Cheer up Arnold! It's a party!"

Working up all his courage he turned to her, "Then would you like to dance?" She cocked her head.

"But this is a slow song." He looked at all the other couples Phoebe swaying in Gerald's arms, both of them looking blissfully happy. He just nodded and held out his hand. Was that a blush he saw gracing her cheeks?

Leading her out on the dance floor, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I've got to be honest Helga. That confession? On the rooftop of Fti?" Helga blushed and attempted to push Arnold away, but he held on tightly.

"We agreed Arnold. Heat of the moment and all that jazz."

"I was just wondering if you still had those feelings?" HE asked. Helga stopped struggling and stared at him incredulously.

"Well DOI! I mean, your kindness to animals, you willingness to forgive and forget when I embarrass you your… MMPH!"

Recognising an opportunity to finally shut her up, Arnold leant forward and swallowed her declarations in a kiss.

He pulled back slightly. "Sorry." he muttered. "Couldn't resist."

Helga touched her lips in wonder. "Well do it again idiot!" Arnold smiled and acquiesced to her demand.

From across the rooftop, Phil smiled, "I told him, he said to his wife before proffering his hand, which she gladly accepted, and the couples danced the night away under the stars.

**END**

**Whellp. Hated the ending, but you know, vaguely alright. Probably got a lot of school facts wrong, because Scotland has a completely different system from, like, the rest of the world. We can leave at 16, we get our university fees paid for us etc.. And we have different years and stuff as well. Cos we have seven years in Primary, then up to six, (if we so desire, we can leave after 4, as previously mentioned) years in High School. So yeah. Crap with other education systems in different countries. So that's your culture lesson over.**

**Review if you want, I can be too lazy to do it, so I'll not judge you if you can't really be bothered…**


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